American Food

When your table is ready, your RFID pager will go off.
The staff will wear sexy robes and masques. They will ask their tables if they are "ad ordinem".
The appetizers will be a Nestlé communion with a choice of red wine from a box, Whirled Trade Center sampler, fried onions with a choice of sauce, chips and Sachsa.

Entrees will include signature dishes from our benefactors.
Items like: Jay-Z's 99 Bla-zing Wings, Caesar salad, The ObamaNation penne, Fired Up Trump Cocktail, Beyoncé Omelette, Templar tempura-ty, the CNN (Chicken Noodle Nugget), Kevin Bacon Let-us Toma-go (with Hollow Man sauce and Honey Booboo mustard on whole Wayne bread), Pork Mel Ribson, baked Makarelmore and CHiPS, the Riley Virus roast beef and pesto sandwich, and the "W" pizza

Drinks: Koch-a Cola, Dr. Prepper, 9/11-Up on the Baracks, Cruise Booze, Blue Ivy Margarita,

Desserts: the Rupert Murdocolate Devil's Food Cake, Ban Ki-moon Pie Blaster, and Drone Flan.

Every item will end in 6 and everything comes with a side of Crawford Ranch.
It'll be like Hooter's with a political flair.
And we'll call it 'Il Bloomin' Naughty'.