ToxicApp

The tribe gathers around the iHeater to hear one of Elder Chet's stories from above ground. The subway tunnel grows silent in anticipation. Chet admits he can't remember the last story he told. BroBrandon tells him he left off at 'beer pong'.
Chet grunts through his nose and shotguns a label-less can. He starts with a tale of being able to get giggle juice mad cheap from a place called Public House and recalls mate hunting. We laugh as he shakes his hands and describes a dead mouse with a giant head that makes tight music. I don't like it. But if Chet liked it, it has to be good.
Then Chet shows us his favorite head cover from the consumer times. It is a strange shape; almost too big for him. It has some sort of fin that sticks out of his forehead. I always thought it was his crown.
Muffled thunder from above stops Chet for a few seconds. The blue light from his E-Cig illuminates his goatee.
He speaks of how 'gay' things were and a cancel culture we assumed was a bad cheese. BroBrandon and I agree to protect each other from the hipsters Chet hated so much. In the same breath he tells us about how our tribal disputes originated in a place called the You Ef See and how much he'd like to go one round with Auntie Phở. She was big on his list. The tribe goes buck wild until he puts his leg up on an empty barrel of giggle juice.
His face is super serious and stuff. He says he always liked watching the UFC in his apartment by himself.
The entire tribe is quivering in their blanket-robes. He pauses to clear his throat; he looked like he was going to cry.
Suddenly, everyone's god-tangles vibrate and light up. The ToxicApp alerts us of a chemical storm above ground. The tribe protests evacuation but Chet rubs his eyes and assures us he has more stories to tell us tomorrow. We repay him with the remains of a Keystone suitcase. I tell him I was the one to find it. I was so nervous but he said it was tight.